


Silence doesn't always means 'yes'

by horangzidangie



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, Soonhoon - Freeform, idk is this even really angst, im sorry lmao, mention of cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:35:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26751448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horangzidangie/pseuds/horangzidangie
Summary: Does silence always means 'yes'?"Soonyoung, do you still love me?""...""I'll take that as a no."Silence doesn’t always, indeed, means ‘yes.’
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 55





	Silence doesn't always means 'yes'

**Author's Note:**

> > first one-shot fic uwu  
> > idak what led me to write this at 7am in the morning lmao  
> > thanks my bub, my love, and also my bitch for beta reading uwuwuwuwu <3
> 
> > putangina soonhoon please breathe.  
> 
> 
> enjoy reading~

Jihoon knew he’s the one.

That Soonyoung is the one.

The way Soonyoung patiently waited for him and didn’t pressure him to be in a relationship right away. Courting him for almost 5 years despite hearing from everyone that, “it’s a very long time to be courted.” He couldn’t be happier that Soonyoung didn’t give up on him.

Soonyoung will be his first boyfriend, first love, first in everything. As much as he wants to be in a relationship, he wants to make sure that Soonyoung will be the one for him, the one who would be part of his plans in the future. In which Jihoon knew, the latter thought the same. But what he didn’t definitely expect himself, was a situation like this: Soonyoung coming home, to their condo, smelling like cigarette and alcohol.

It has been happening since god-only-knows when for the past three years. When you thought everything is okay, fate will then play its role. 

Something really happens without us realizing it, like their situation right now. He doesn’t have any idea what happened to the ‘Soonyoung’ he first met through their friends, Mingyu and his boyfriend, Wonwoo, who purposely set them up together into a blind date. That ‘Soonyoung’ who shamelessly confessed that he likes him, that ‘Soonyoung’ who patiently waited for him. Him, who came when his future was still uncertain. That ‘Soonyoung’—his first love.

“Soonyoung, do you still love me?”

He doesn’t have choice anymore.

He has to be straightforward.

Not just for him, not just for Soonyoung, but for the both of them.

He never asks this question during their past arguments. Jihoon has been always the one to swallow his pride and apologize first just for them to go back to normal. He knew it was already too late for him to expect Soonyoung’s answer. Fuck, he knew he had enough. Who wouldn’t? This kind of situation went for almost three years. But still, he can’t help it. He might still have a chance, right?

“…”

… And there it is, loud and clear.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

Silence doesn’t always, indeed, means ‘yes.’ 

Three years ago, despite the anxiety of letting someone new enter his life and the many years that has to be spent on courting, with Soonyoung’s patience and assurance, the feeling of doubt and fear of being in a relationship just flew right out of his mind. Soonyoung took the risk and he knew he also had to take a risk.

Maybe, he will get the message. And so, he did it. He took the risk and Soonyoung received the message that was sent with just a smile and a nod—that only the two of them knows the meaning behind it.

‘Yes, I want you to be my boyfriend.’

‘Yes, I’m ready to take the risk with you.’

‘Yes, I’m ready to spend my whole life with you.’

But now, Jihoon received the answer to his question he never knew himself he would ask to Soonyoung as long as they’re together. 

Because he was so sure of it. He has found the one.

But, unfortunately, he’s wrong. 

With Soonyoung’s emotionless eyes, he already received his answer. Although he received nothing coming out from his mouth, but his eyes, it never lies. It may be devoid with any emotion, but it says a lot.

'It’s over, Jihoon.’

‘I don’t love you anymore.’

‘I’m sorry.’

It is indeed, over.

Memories of them going to dates, meeting each other before and after class, casual make outs on his studio—Soonyoung's eyes that was once filled with stars whenever he looked at him, suddenly crossed his mind.

Where’s the sparkle in his eyes that he’s supposed to be seeing until now and even after many years of being together? Even after their wedding, even after they have to take care of their future children, even after their future birthday’s and/or wedding anniversaries?

Those sparkling eyes were the most beautiful thing Jihoon has ever seen the first time he met Soonyoung. But now, he can’t see it anymore.

His eyes are now filled with darkness.

“Let’s break up, Jihoon.”

He doesn’t even know if he’s still expecting this or not.

“J-Ji, I don’t want you to be hurt anymore, I’m sorry—”

“Are you? Really?”

Jihoon ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, “Soonyoung, if you’re really sorry, I wouldn’t be hurting like this, for almost three years! Three years, Soonyoung! I didn’t even know I was just holding on to something worthless—”

Jihoon wiped his tears harshly, “Yes, this relationship is worthless!”

A worthless relationship wherein there are two people – one is still holding onto something they knew they would regret but did anyway, while the other is just holding on out of pity oy maybe, that someone is fighting a battle he didn’t know would be useless someday. God, he wasn’t even aware it would be that early or it would even happen.

Soonyoung has given up anyways so what’s the point now?

“You could have told me you fell out of love; you know? I would have let you go earlier. Fuck, I’ll let you go if I have to, Soonyoung. It doesn’t matter if I’m hurting, as long as you’re happy. Because, I fucking love you.”

A tear fell from Soonyoung’s eyes.

Jihoon let out a sob, trying hard to continue what he’s saying.  
“S-Soonyoung, I didn’t have to find this out by seeing that fucking hickey on your neck, right?”

Soonyoung didn’t say anything, of course he wouldn’t dare to speak, he has no excuse. 

Cheating will be never, ever be an excuse.

“I’m not asking you to stay—”

“Then that’s my fucking choice to make! I choose to stay because I love you! And you choose to stay because what?” A scoff. “You pity me? You choose to fuck around while I had to endure this pain for three years, and you’ll stay just because you pity me? Bullshit, Soonyoung. You just clearly stated I’m a burden to your life, like I’m locking you up in this stupid relationship.”

“Ji, I don’t mean—”

“Right, it’s my fault for staying. I’m sorry for still loving you even after many years. I thought that’s how it is supposed to be? Right? Well, I don’t know. You’re my first boyfriend, my first in everything, but look at what happened. I’m sorry for not letting you go—” he chuckled.

“Well, maybe I would’ve if you just told me earlier, right? I wouldn’t have to take all of this pain. For three fucking years.”

“I’m letting you go now, Soonyoung. Please be happy and…”

“Happy 3rd year anniversary.”

A year later, Soonyoung found himself in Jihoon’s first ever concert, wherein he performed his unreleased song entitled “What Kind of Future.”

He was reminded of how he fucked up, how he couldn’t give the love that he knew Jihoon clearly deserves—fuck, he deserves the whole world, and it was just too late for him to realize that. Jihoon’s future became uncertain, once again, because of him. He knew Jihoon has included him in his future plans even before they started dating he used to be excited about it and all, and yet he fucked it all up—like really bad.

Two years later, Soonyoung found himself in Jihoon’s concert, once again. And right there, he announced and sang his newly released song, “Miracle.” At the end of the song, someone appeared on stage and kneeled in front of him asking the question he knew himself he should be the one asking it to him.

“Will you marry me?”

The crowd cheered and roared at what they’ve just witnessed, including him. Choi Seungcheol is kneeling in front of Lee Jihoon, after him singing his song about finding his ‘Miracle.’

Jihoon used to call him his miracle. Like he’s the best thing that ever happened to him. Like all of Jihoon’s songs are written and dedicated for him—from writing lyrics about looking for ‘the one’, to writing lyrics about what he and Soonyoung has went through throughout their relationship. It was full of hope, trust, and love. 

But then, he took Jihoon for granted. He instead let himself turned into a nightmare. Jihoon’s nightmare. 

Like he was the worst person to ever exist in Jihoon’s life.

Seeing your lover fall out of love with you was indeed a nightmare. 

Your lover seeing a hickey on your neck that was from someone else was, indeed, a nightmare. 

Fighting alone in a relationship, taking all of the risk and pain, while your lover is already fucking someone else was, indeed, a nightmare.

Except for the fact that he’s a music producer who writes lyrics and makes music. He knew that those songs aren’t about him— or rather, dedicated to him anymore.

“Yes.”

And that’s the cue. That’s the end of their story.

Maybe their love story doesn’t exist in this lifetime, or maybe it does. And it’s how long they’ve spent their time together.

Maybe the universe has completely let go of his star and found another star that will surely light up like how he was to him. He surely shone with his universe, but then again, he fucked up really bad, letting himself be swallowed by the darkness, until his universe has to find someone else to light up his life and shine together with him.

"I'm so happy for you, Jihoonie." 

Goodbye, my universe.

**Author's Note:**

> > it sucks i know i'm sorry(?) lmao kskdksdskdks


End file.
